Two further surgeries were necessary to fix a damaged shoulder. And yet the cracks in his carefully constructed facade were beginning to spread, and everything would soon come tumbling down. The NFL released the 30-second long “National Coming Out Day PSA” on YouTube Saturday. College basketball player comes out and feels a sense of liberation and pride. In the hazy denial that comes with addiction, though, he hated her at first because anyone who threatens to interrupt the addiction is always the enemy. It was ridiculous, but laying there one of my first thoughts was Shit, now I’m gay and paralyzed.”. One of the most illuminating sequences of the series comes midway through Episode 1, when O’Callaghan talks about his former habit of tossing around gay slurs; then the video cuts to a jailhouse recording of Hernandez belittling effeminate male prisoners in a phone call to his mother. The former Marine said their friendship blossomed into a bisexual relationship when they were growing up. Numerous theories, ranging from Hernandez’s unprecedented levels of brain trauma to the impact of child abuse he suffered at the hands of his father, as well as his dad’s death, are all presented as possible pieces of his psychiatric puzzle. “But covering your tracks could lead you to do some really weird things if you think the consequences of being out are that bad.”. He points out that there are 1,696 current players in the NFL. “You don’t realize you have blacked out until you come to.” When he did, he couldn’t move. “I did have some hesitations, because Aaron never did come out, and I didn’t want it to seem like this was an ‘outing Aaron Hernandez documentary,’ and I didn’t want to be attached to, ‘Oh, he’s outing Aaron,’” O’Callaghan said in a phone interview. Now he shares his remarkable journey to acceptance. “I try to make sure I tell people how good it feels when you can finally be yourself, and that weight that’s off your shoulders,” O’Callaghan told WBZ-TV last year. Hernandez, who ascended to superstardom in his three seasons of playing with the Patriots, was convicted of first-degree murder in 2015. It’s also where carrying that extra weight became an issue. CNN’s ___ contributed to this report. You mean to tell me the quarterback and tight end are gay? “We have no way of knowing if an active NFL player would choose to come out, or what they might experience,” Vincent writes at the end of his op-ed. That absolutely consumed me.”. But when things didn’t feel right, he began understanding more about who he was. “High school is a complicated time, and I really relied on a lot of stereotypes and used those to my advantage,” he says. He lost a few friends but realized he had greater support than he ever could have imagined. Celebrating LGBTQ sports history: Troy Aikman says being gay ‘is not my lifestyle’. It is in this context that speculation about Hernandez’s fear of being outed is explored. Harvard lacrosse player to teammates: ‘Guys, I’m gay’. The executive producers are sports journalists Kevin Armstrong and Dan Wetzel, who appear in the series. He also gained weight, lots of it, which he wielded like a shield to repel women. At the very least, O’Callaghan says panic over that fear would’ve destroyed his own already precarious mental state. Thousands Of Massachusetts Residents Sent A Coronavirus Alert Text Message, Sorry, Everybody: Tom Brady Is Still Great, 'Incredibly Frightening': Activist Leaves Dirty Needles Outside Gov. The Netflix documentary addresses Hernandez’s sexuality in each of the three episodes. Almost inevitably, he developed elaborate plans for ending his life once his playing days were over. It was the start of his recovery. Under pressure from feds, university rescinds trans inclusive sports policy. In true tough-guy fashion, of course, he walked off the field without assistance. “I was already in a bad head space. Baker's Home, New England Experiences Significant Snowfall This Weekend, Douglas Woman Charged With Attacking 73-Year-Old Trump Supporter, Salem Restaurant Manager Attacked After Dispute Over Tip, Man Charged With Trying To Kidnap 11-Year-Old Girl In Worcester, Fantasy Football Waiver Wire Week 7: Joe Mixon Injury Opens Door For Giovani Bernard, Providence Police Officer On Leave After Pursuit Severely Injures 24-Year-Old, Massachusetts Reports 827 New Coronavirus Cases, 15 Additional Deaths. The league also plans to have NFL Network talent wear purple for Spirit Day, October 15. Hernandez’s sexuality has been the subject of speculation for years, and the premiere of the three-part Netflix series raises the question of whether that topic is at all newsworthy, or just rehashed tawdry gossip aimed at fans of the “true crime” genre. O’Callaghan knows about the pressure of trying to remain closeted in the high-profile world of professional football. The NFL launched a website featuring additional projects with GLAAD, the Trevor Project and other LGBTQ+ content scheduled for the remainder of October, which is also LGBTQ+ History Month. What woman would be interested in a fat redneck slob who chewed tobacco? “I couldn’t feel anything,” he says. Her wordless response surprised him but ultimately proved to be what he needed the most. With a useless left shoulder that has zero range of motion, he is awaiting surgery for a complete replacement. October 11, 2020 at 12:37 pm. Ryan O’Callaghan knows the support student-athletes receive from their schools. Here I am, the football player.’ I was in such denial — such denial — because I was an athlete. “In school, there (weren’t) a lot of kids who were out of the closet,” SanSoucie said in Episode 1. Fourteen former NFL players have said they are gay or bisexual, according to Outsports.com. He’s off the painkillers, but the chronic pain hasn’t ended. “Watching the video, you can see me laying there and my body is twitching. It started, as it often does, with an injury. The sport has often been a hostile space for LGBTQ players, but when Noah Knopf came out, he felt liberated and says it’s been ‘sunshine, rainbows and lacrosse’ ever since. Proceeds from its sales are funneled into the foundation. “What I do know is that I am committed to celebrate, support, and welcome them.”, (© Copyright 2020 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. Once he started playing football at University of California, Berkeley, O’Callaghan feared acting like a bully was no longer enough, so his facade evolved. Outsports co-founders Cyd Zeigler and Jim Buzinski, Hernandez’s unprecedented levels of brain trauma, A gay college tennis captain is liberated after coming out to his team, For gay runner, trusting a coach with her secret started coming out process, ‘I’m gay’: College hockey player came out to two teams with a simple statement, Adam Rippon tells Russian skater who wished for his death where to shove his gold medal, How gay runners on Brown’s men’s track & field team helped lead fight for reinstatement, Out former soccer player Michael Martin wins seat on West Virginia school board. Whether it was in high school hallways or on the football field, the former NFL player reveals in his new autobiography, My Life on the Line, written with Cyd Ziegler, his overpowering size and persona made it easy to hide his deepest secret: Big, bad Ryan O’Callaghan was gay. The PSA begins with O’Callaghan, Rohrer, Russell and Davis collectively saying: “To all current players who are thinking of coming out, when you are ready, so are we.”, Then current NFL players, including Rob Gronkowski, DeAndre Hopkins, and Calais Campbell, express their support, saying, “It takes all of us, and you deserve to be all you.”. “Obviously, being gay doesn’t make you want to kill someone,” he said. O’Callaghan, a former Patriots offensive lineman, spent his entire career hiding his sexuality from teammates. The trainer referred him to Susan Wilson, the therapist who would ultimately help him overcome his addictions and fears. Ryan O’Callaghan has always been a big guy. Two years later, while still behind bars, he was acquitted of double-murder, stemming from a 2012 shooting in Boston that took place just a month before he signed a $40 million extension with the Patriots. More adaptation was required after the New England Patriots drafted him into the pros. Betsy Devos’s Office of Civil Rights claims Franklin Pierce University and NCAA policy violate Title IX. ), By viewing our video content, you are accepting the terms of our. The first person to throw him a lifeline was Dave Price, the trainer for the Kansas City Chiefs. SanSoucie went onto explain he and Hernandez thought their fathers would disown them if they found out. He had his first sexual experience with a member of the opposite sex. NFL Executive Vice President Troy Vincent wrote an op-ed on the league’s website as part of its “It Takes All of Us” campaign, expressing his support for LGBTQ players considering coming out. O’Callaghan came out as gay in 2017. “I never did a single thing with a guy where anyone would ever suspect I was gay,” O’Callaghan tells The Advocate. Hernandez hanged himself in his prison cell five days after his acquittal, on April 19, 2017. “But for some reason I thought that at any moment I was going to be outed.”. At the time, most mainstream media outlets ignored that aspect of the story, including the Boston Globe. When you perform well on the field in professional sports, everyone cares far less about your life off it. I’m assuming everyone else has somewhat similar feelings, but it was the overwhelming feeling of self-hatred and doubt that anyone would ever accept you and love you. It’s scheduled to air during early-game Fox broadcasts Sunday, which is National Coming Out Day, according to Outsports.com. February 01 2020 8:33 AM EST. O’Callaghan ultimately decided to participate in the three-part series, “Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez,” because he wanted to offer the unique perspective of a formerly closeted NFL player. The former football player opens up about being gay in the NFL, why he hid his sexual orientation, and how addiction treatment saved his life. Things only got worse in the pros. Ryan O’Callaghan was hesitant to speculate about Hernandez’s sexuality, but ultimately agreed to share his perspective as a formerly closeted NFL player. But they were my teammates and part of the larger NFL family.”. It took a while, but O’Callaghan finally pieced his life together. Post date October 11, 2020; NFL Encourages Players To Come Out In PSA Featuring Former Patriots OL Ryan O’Callaghan CBS Boston “gay tv” – Google News ← Advocate.com: We Need to Move Beyond Coming Out and Begin Inviting In → On Top Magazine Headlines: Niecy Nash Gushes About Wife Jessica Betts. “And the few that were, I used to feel like, ‘Golly, what a homo. Ryan O’Callaghan has always been a big guy. The football league is celebrating National Coming Out Day with a video featuring openly gay and bisexual former players such as Ryan O’Callaghan, Jeff Rohrer, R.K. Russell and Wade Davis, encouraging current LGBTQ players to come out. “Just as I have done with family members and close friends, I am committed to serving as a conduit to help you through that journey — either myself, in collaboration with my teammates at the league office, or through the many organizations with whom we partner on LGBTQ+ issues.”. Home; Posts – gayland.org; Links and Pages – gayland.org; Home; Posts – gayland.org; … They along with director Geno McDermott received high praise from straight media such as the Boston Globe and Sporting News, but they also scored a terrible review in Sports Illustrated.